John 3:29 “The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom’s voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete.”
I have been to a lot of weddings. I have participated in them as the pianist, a bridesmaid, the mom of the ring bearer, a singer (once, only once) and as a bride (again, only once). The one thing that almost every wedding has in common is not the colors or the dress or the vows; it’s that it’s all about the bride. She is the most important person that day. The bride has been planning this day for a very long time. It’s her day. As a little girl and even as I grew up, I remember dreaming about my wedding. However, I can’t say that I ever stopped to dream about being the maid of honor. We don’t have scrapbooks for maid of honor day. We don’t even get to pick out our own dress for maid of honor day! There’s never a maid of honor shower, maid of honor fashion fair, or even maid of honor-ette parties. There are, however, several books on maid of honoring: Ultimate Maid of Honor, Maid of Honor Duties, Details and Delights, and The Bridesmaid Guerilla Handbook to name three of over 10,000 offerings on Amazon.com. The point is that not too many people really care how joy-filled the maid of honor is, it’s not her part, not her turn. However, the scripture says that it is the friend who attends the bridegroom who has complete joy, not the bridegroom.
In his book, Echoes of His Presence*, Ray Vender Laan paints a wonderful picture of the bridegroom working so hard to prepare things so that he can go to claim his bride. She would wait at her parents home preparing things and waiting for him. It is the friend that the groom asks to wait on him who blows the horn and announces that the groom is coming for his bride. It is the friend who announces that the marriage has been consummated and it is the friend who oversees the seven day wedding feast. It is the servant that has the complete joy.
Wow, it’s not about me. To be in complete joy, it can’t be about me. It’s not hard to see it. We’ve been told it’s true, but it seems to fly in the face of logic. If I want joy, I’ve got to work on ME!! No, if you want to have joy, you’ve got to work with or for someone else. Self improvement is an industry. There’s no trouble finding books on what I need for me. Books on how to fix my husband, books on how to fix my kids, books on how to fix my church, pick my friends, become positive, powerful and influential. Ever wonder why there are so many books? None of them work. Joy comes only from God and He says that you have to be a servant in order to find that joy.
God could have used about anyone to get His point across about service, but He used the wedding. So much of the Jewish wedding celebration is very different than what we find today.
Mikha’el’s mind drifted back to the day of their engagement more than nine months ago. After the bride price had been paid, his father had poured a cup of wine from the flask he had carried to the ceremony.
As Mikha’el took the wine, he wondered fearfullly, When the cup is offered to Elisheva, will she take it? Will she dedicate her life to me? To our life together?
The he held the cup out Elisheva and said, “By offering this cup, I vow that I am willing to give my life for you.”
His skin flushed with warmth and his heart sang with joy when she held out her hand to take the cup from him.
After she drank, indicating that she was willing to give her life for him, he said to her, “I’m going to go back to Korazin and prepare a place for you, Elisheva. And when I’m finished, I’ll come back and take you to be my wife.”
Echoes of His Presence
By taking the cup, the bridegroom vows that he will give his life to her. She accepts the cup and will, in turn, gives her life for him. Notice it is FOR him, not TO him. No talk of Venus and Mars here. We simply say, “until death do us part”. The bride and bridegroom then go home and serve one another by getting ready for their life together.
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife and he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Ephesians 5:31-33.
Jesus took the cup and drank. He then passes the cup to us and tells us to drink. If we choose to drink from His cup, we must be prepared to give our life FOR Him, just as He has already done for us. We become His bride and await His arrival to take us to our new home, our mansion. In the meantime, while I wait, I must do what service I can to be prepared for Him. We are now one. Thank you, Jesus for being my groom. I am so honored that you would choose me. I am sorry that you had to give your life for me first to prove how much you love me and to make it possible for me to be your bride. But, I thank you and I love you. It will be my joy to be a servant for YOU!
*Ray Vander Laan (1998). Echoes of His Presence: Stories of the Messiah From the People of His Day. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing
For so long I have wondered what I can do to make myself happy. I buy the books, I read, I feel better for awhile. But, it doesn’t last too long. I ask God for, he gives, but that too fades away. I don’t need happiness, I have that; I need joy. My joy was stolen away by people. Some things were decisions I made, some were decisions made for me. But, until I learn to serve people, my joy will always be incomplete. It’s not about money, it’s not about position or power or fame, and it most certainly isn’t about me. How can I serve? By its very nature, my job is about service, but I can do that without serving. Giving a decent meal is different than getting on my knees and washing their feet. Jesus took the cup and drank and then He passed it to me, the one He has chosen to be His bride. If I refuse it, I refuse Him and the offer of His life. To drink of the cup means that I am His. Now, I must wait for Him and be prepared for when he comes.
Making Sense of it All 