Learning to Die

I am learning how to die.  I’ve tried to die, and I do pretty well for awhile, but then I quit the dying process and believe I should live.  Not only do I think I should live, but I think that I deserve to live.  After all, I am a pretty good person……right?

 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. ³For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.                                 Col. 3:2-3

Dying starts in the mind.  When I set my mind on the things of this world, that is when I start to want the things of this world.  But, that is not what we are called to do. We are to shun the world and live to bring glory to the Father.  That is what Jesus did.  He asked if there was any way other than the cross.  He knew there wasn’t.  Jesus died a painful, humiliating death so people like me can have eternal glory.  He had to die to His own life before He could die for mine. What Would Jesus Do?  I don’t know, but I know what He did.

Peter told Jesus that he would never leave Him.  He vowed that he would not deny Jesus, would even die with Him before denying Him.  It didn’t take long before Peter did that very thing.  Peter had to learn how to die.

Paul was a Jew among Jews.  He was an up and coming star.  But it wasn’t until he lost his sight that he realized how blind he really was.  Then he had to begin a whole new life.  Paul had to learn how to die.

The tax collector, the fisherman, the doctor and the demon possessed woman; they all had to learn how to die.  The woman at the well had to learn her life was worth dying for and then she had to die. I hope I see her in Heaven, I have a lot of questions.

Mary and Joseph had to endure the shame of whispered accusations when Jesus was born and the inconceivable pain of watching Him on the cross.  They had to die in order that He might live as a man.

Dying does not come naturally.  In the physical world, we fight against it.  We don’t want our physical bodies to end too soon.  Spiritual death is even more difficult.  Our self centered psyche fights against it and Satan encourages us to live for our own desires.  Spiritual death may be hard, but the reward is a fullness and wonder to life that cannot be equaled.  God will help me die, I just have to be willing.

Spooey Guide to Highway Travel

What is spooey?  Well, technically it isn’t anything.  It’s actually how you pronounce the acronym SPUI which stands for “Single Point Urban Interchange”.  In short, it’s a great big intersection for a great big highway.  Where I live, we have a single red blinking light that signals a four way stop at the busiest intersection in town.  A spooey would, in fact, freak me out.

A spooey works by passing all traffic through a single set of lights and allows for concurrent left turns thus increasing the capacity of the interchange.  Got it?  Well, a really smart engineer does, but I don’t.  However, it got me thinking.  Roads and paths are a metaphor that is used so powerfully in scripture.  The road we travel is not to be taken lightly, but rather should be walked deliberately.  However, I find myself on several roads.  Each road seems to pull at me, want to divert me from the destination;  and let’s face it, it only takes one wrong turn to end up going the wrong direction or in the middle of a wreck.  That’s where the spooey guide comes in.

No matter how many roads we travel,  all of them must be passing through the same signal; Jesus Christ.  It isn’t easy,  so many times I don’t pass EVERY road I’m on through the signal.  I have no problem taking Spiritual Street through Jesus.  Most of the time, Parent Parkway and Marriage Avenue are no problem either, although there are times when I have to “catch up” Jesus with the latest in our world.  Those roads, however, are certainly not the sum of the roads I travel.  My life is complex and involves many different roads, or roles, both publicly and privately.  It’s only when I begin to live my life, all of my life,  for God and not for me and realize  I’m ON the road, not the road BUILDER that my life begins to have purpose.  I must die to my own selfishness and my own foolishness and allow God complete control.

Paul wrote:

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Galatians 2:20

What does this say about the areas of life that I’m not happy with?  If I am completely dead to my self and live only to God, is it possible to be dissatisfied?  Is my frustration with my situation born from selfish desires?  I don’t think we have to love the road that God put us on all the time, but when I begin to behave that my road is precisely where God needs me, then I can begin to look around and see what it is that He wants me to do on that road.  That is passing all roads through Jesus and using the spooey guide.

What roads are you not passing through the signal?  How can I help?

Other side of the Coin

Jesus betrayal was bought for 30 pieces of silver.  Yesterday I talked about how I betray and deny Jesus every day for my own comfort and ease.  It seems harsh and it’s hard to look at those words.  After all, it was never my intention!  I love Jesus and I know that it is His sacrifice that enables me to be saved by grace but, I just don’t know how to be the person God wants me to be.  The answer, of course, came from scripture.

Jesus, in the upper room with His disciples, told Peter that in just a short time he would deny their relationship.  Peter could not accept this.  None of us would.  He pledged his own life with Jesus’ and was adamant about his devotion.  But listen to Jesus:

“Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail.  And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers. ”  Peter said to Him, “Lord, I am ready to go with you both to prison and to death.”  Jesus said, “I tell you, Peter, the rooster will not crow this day, until you deny three times that you know me.”  Luke 22:31-34

“Turn again” or flip the coin, look at the other side.  We typically flip a coin to see who has the ball first or who does what no one wants to do.  What happens if we flip the coin to see the other side of situations?  When I see what is wrong in my life flip and see what God has given me and then be grateful for it.  When I’m frustrated with someone, flip and realize they have their own sadness, fears and frustration.  When I feel hopeless, flip and savor the promises that God has given me.  When I don’t want to risk being humiliated by telling someone the Gospel, flip and remember the shame and humiliation of the cross.  ”Turn again” and when you do, you will have been sifted and will then be able to strengthen your brother.  Flip the coin and begin to live in Christ.

It was coins that bought Jesus’ betrayal, but the betrayal was only one side of the story.  The other side of the coin is the redemptive work of the cross and because of that I no longer live in fear.  When I see the cross, then I am strong, brave and bold.  When I flip the coin, I have a peace and hope that I can’t help but share.

 

Betrayal No Extra Charge

Judas betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of silver.  Roughly that’s the amount of one months wages for a laborer.  In my terms, it’s a lot of pizza!  Judas is often listed as one of the “big” sinners in the Bible, after all, he is the one that was the traitor.  We, as Americans, hate traitors.  We, as humans, can’t imagine following someone for  three years and then selling him for a month’s wages.  We, as Christians, can’t imagine turning away from the Christ and leading the executioners to Jesus.  We can’t imagine anything worse than what Judas did; for 30 pieces of silver.

Peter insisted to Jesus that he would not deny Him.  Peter pledged to Jesus his life instead of denial.  Fear, in just a few hours time, consumed him and made him forget the promise to Jesus.

But Peter said, “Man, I do not know what you are talking about.” And immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. ⁶¹And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how he had said to him, ”Before the rooster crows today, you will deny me three times.”⁶²And he went out and wept bitterly.  Luke 22:60-62

I cannot imagine Jesus’ face at that moment; it had to have haunted Peter the rest of his life. It’s easy to say that we will not betray, but it is harder to live up to.  Am I so different from Judas? Do I not betray Christ every day?  Does Peter make me angry knowing that at Christs’ most vulnerable time, he swore an oath (Matt 26:72) and then invoked a curse on himself and swore (Matt 26:74) that he was not a follower.  Yet, how often do I try to blend in with the world or walk a thin line to not appear too “religious”?  I am guilty.  Most of the time, it’s for far less than a months wages.  I betray Jesus for comfort when I don’t reach out, for convenience when I don’t serve and for self righteousness when I don’t care.  Every day when  I preserve self in some way instead of living Christ; I betray Him.  And to make it worse, I explain it away.  I tell myself that if I’m not current and relevant, I won’t be able to witness and then tell myself that I don’t have the gift to witness.   I tell myself that the traditions were old fashioned and make sure that I don’t stand out in the crowd.  I tell myself that I’m liberated and loving when, in reality,  I’m making it easier to be a follower.  No, this isn’t about man-made rules versus the Word.  This is about me denying, betraying and breaking Jesus’ heart.  I am no better.

Luckily, there is another side to the coin and we only have to flip it!

………….to be continued!

No Planning Necessary

We will be going on vacation in one month.  Therefore, I have made reservations, have begun to plan my “to do’s”, and  started two lists (“to get” and “don’t forget”).  Getting the house clean, the business books in order, the bills paid, the mail stopped and the dog cared for all takes time.  The week before we leave is scheduled – VERY scheduled.  The day before we leave is a frenzy of last minute activity that can’t be done until, well,  the last minute.  There will be more lists and reminders as the weeks go by.  So many things need to be done just to leave for nine days.

Someday, I’ll leave this world for good; we all will.  Someday, the lists and the bills won’t matter and we won’t have any warning.  In the wake of yet another false prediction of the the end of the world, I have had to laugh at the idea that God would let us know when Jesus is coming back.  I think that most of us would become so preoccupied with what we needed to do to get done that we would forget to take anyone with us.  Not knowing gives us both great freedom and great urgency.  We are free because there is no need to worry about it.  There is no use for canned goods stored in the basement for Jesus’ coming.  No bottled water, flashlights or even a cell phone will go with us (yes, we will have to leave our phones when we go to Heaven!).  We are free from the worry of what will happen at the end of the world – we will be in paradise.  However, the urgency with which we must wake up with every morning should be far more consuming than the vacation planning.  Have I made a list of who I need to invite to eternity?  Have I made up a schedule, consulted my calendar, decided on a plan of action?  No.  But, I do all this for vacation?  I fail the priority test.

I will someday have to answer to God why I worried about the things I did so much and didn’t love the people He gave to my life more.  It scares me. I would love to go on a mission trip someday. I think that it would be awesome to take Christ to another country, even raise my kids in that way.   But I wonder what would happen if I put that much effort and planning into reaching people that I see every day?  It is hard to see those close to us as a mission field.  It’s easier to plan and go.

God didn’t tell us when He would come again, because we won’t need anything this world has to offer. Relationships will be there with us.  I think He knew we would become overly preoccupied with leaving and forget about the living He is allowing us.

Painting Outside the Lines

I need to paint my house; more specifically, I need to paint the inside of my house.  This led me on a quest to find a really great paint brush.  The smallest paint brush I could find was a “liner” that was 0.8 mm, or 1/32 inch wide.  That is not the brush that I want to use to paint my living room.  This brush is used only to paint the smallest of details.  Compare that with the biggest paint brush at four inches.  Between the two, I’ll take the big one as  I tend to be impatient.  When I finally do get around to painting the living room, my husband will do the trim work and I will probably use the roller.  He likes the details, I like to get done. I’m not a artist.  I don’t even like to color – I never did, even as a child.  But I know an amazing painter.

For Christmas, Todd and I decided to forgo getting each other any presents  so, he bought me a bird feeder. He’s a wonderful husband!  We put up the feeder right outside our dinning room window.  This spring and summer we have enjoyed the birds that have come to eat.  I am amazed at the vibrant colors.  Birds, at least the ones in our feeder, are not big animals.  They could be shot and killed with the smallest of guns and I don’t think I’ve ever heard hunters brag about the cardinal they bagged. They are small, vulnerable and not ferocious.  But, they are beautiful.  It struck me one day; the smallest of the animals (not counting insects, because they just don’t count) are the ones that God used the liner brush to paint.  These little songbirds have a variety of colors and patters in their feathers.  But for the rhino, God used the four inch brush with grey.

The rhino is strong, and he deserves great respect.  He charges and fights and is usually the winner of a battle.  In fact, man is the only known predator of an adult rhino.   The rhino is impressive in it’s size, strength and speed.  He is an amazing beast.  I know some people like that too.  But, it is my little songbird that God so patiently painted.  It is the little bird that He took each feather and meticulously and brilliantly shaded.  No, they really don’t matter.  They will not win epic battles or cause people to stop and change direction; but they are precious to the creator.  We all know of someone who feels as though they don’t matter; we have all felt that way ourselves.  It’s easy to compare ourselves to the brave and strong rhino.  I know some awesome people that do amazing things for God.  But, there is not one among us that the Father hasn’t used the fine brush to color us in.

Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies?  And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.  Luke 12:6-7

And the Winner Is……

Sam’s memory verse for this week hangs on the refrigerator door.  Being a wife and mother, opening the fridge door is a pretty constant thing, so I’ve read this verse many times in the last few days.

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”  Mark 12:30

Today, I’ve been struggling with discouragement.  Nothing major,  just the day to day hits of  life that Satan brings to all of us.  It has just been one of those one step forward, three steps back kind of weeks where it seems that I find far (FAR) more places where I’m failing than succeeding.  The joys of this week were huge and wonderful, but by Friday, the gnawing frustrations were threatening to take hold.

Then, I was picking up the lunch dishes.  It was somewhere between the katsup and the watermelon that I read this verse again and it hit me.  I mean really hit me.

Love the Lord your God when your heart is broken or happy, when your soul is discouraged or full of joy, when your mind is confused or clear and with every ounce of energy that you have no matter what circumstances you’re in.

I know that this is elementary to most, but today it stopped discouragement dead in it’s tracks and love wins over Satan’s traps.  I pray that no matter what is going on in your heart, your soul, your mind and with your strength that you will love God.

Servant’s 23rd Psalm

Yesterday, the sermon was about the parable of the lost sheep from Luke 15.  I love this parable.  My mind, as it often does (sorry, Richard), started on its own path.  I wasn’t thinking about the parable itself, but rather about being a shepherd.  Let me explain; Jesus is my shepherd, but am I not called to be a shepherd also?  Do I sometimes think that Jesus is the only shepherd and my part is to walk around and give invitations to worship and maybe do a good deed or two?  Not that these things are bad – but are they shepherding?  Am I involved with people?  Do I offer them relationship that will ultimately lead them to salvation?  I’m not sure I’ve looked at my life in that light, with that sense of responsibility for others.  I know the great commission, but I began to ponder how far I’m commanded to go with people.  Do I behave like I believe that shepherding should be left to the shepherds?  I’m afraid so.   How should I behave?  The 23rd Psalm has long been the staple of how God is our shepherd.  I wonder how it would read if I changed to read, not what God does for me, but what I should do for others.  Here, at the risk of offending someone is what I came up with.

The 23^rd Psalm from me to you:

I will lead and care for you;

You will not want for relationship.

I will make sure you have a safe place to sleep

and your nourishment is sufficient.

I will protect you.

I will help you establish a relationship with God.

I will teach you what is righteous,

in His name.

Even though you might go through a terrible time,

I will show you how not to fear.

I stand beside  you.

I will continually pray for you and help you put on God’s armor.

Even if you are with evil people, I will be your friend.

I will baptize you if you are ready,

then you will be a part of God’s goodness and mercy for the rest of your life.

You will be welcomed into Heaven and dwell with God

Forever.

I’m Sorry

Occasionally, as a parent, I find it necessary to make my children apologize to each other.  They do not do this out of their hearts, but rather to get out of being in trouble.  They think “I’m sorry” is all they really need to do to fix a situation.  My 5 year old will even say, “But, I said my sorry’s!”   In her mind that should finish it.  I try my best to explain why what she did was wrong before making her apologize, and I hope that some of that explanation is sinking in, but more often than not, sorry is said through clenched teeth or barely mumbled. Nope, not heartfelt.  Throughout the New Testament, the call to repent is given.  In my mind, that has always meant to give God some type of  apology for the wrongs that I’ve committed.  I have earnestly appealed to Him and expressed my sorrow and  I have even been known to mutter my apology knowing that what I did was wrong  but still feeling somehow justified in my actions.  Either way, I was hoping that it would be enough to “fix” the situation

Repent may mean to apologize, but it is the word chosen to represent a Greek word which actually means “to change one’s thinking”.  Now, I realize there are Bible scholars out there going, duh!  But, this is something new to me.  I am so childish to my Father at times.  He doesn’t want my eeked out apology, He wants me to change the way I think.  He wants to be the center of that thinking, not someone to appease hoping to get out of trouble.  When He commands to repent, he is telling me to leave my old ideas behind.  In other words, repentance comes from the mind, not just the heart.  An apology comes because of repentance.  When my thinking has been changed, I make ammends for the wrongs that I have committed, both to God and to others.   Repentance leads to salvation not because I said my sorry’s, but because my mind is changed.  I am now a new creature.   This is not easy.  To change the way we think about things is difficult.  Often we fall back into our old ruts.  I’m an old dog and it’s tough.  But the relationship that God wants to have with me is perfect and wonderful.  He wants me to think differently from the world and to show others a different way of thinking.  Repentance and, by consequence, God’s amazing grace, does “fix” everything.

“I’m sorry” are powerful words;  they can save relationships, they can heal hurts and they can free us from guilt.  It is not, however, until I change my way of thinking that the repentance has the healing effect it was designed to have. Try inserting the words “change your thinking” into scripture every time you see the word repent.  Does this change your thinking?  Does this change the way your live your life?  What else does He tell me to change my thinking about;  my neighbor, my enemy, my possessions, my life?

Greek translation from:  greattreasures.org

Rule Breaker

At parent / teacher conferences the other night, my daughter’s preschool teacher told me about a student she had some time ago that was ambidextrous.  This student would start writing her name with one hand, switch the pencil to her other hand and finish her name.  Her right and left hands worked very well together, however that is usually not the case.  The left and the right often seem to be at odds with each other.  My left hand is useless to try and write with.  But, playing the base clef of a piano piece with my right hand seems awkward and wrong.  Granted, I realize my overall limitations in the piano department, especially since I haven’t practiced in the last 20+ years, but generally the left hand has it’s area and the right has it’s own space.

I grew up in a very right, rules oriented family and church.  My grandparents never played card or dice games (except for Rook – and I still don’t get that one!).  We always went TO the building to HAVE church.  I remember when I got to wear jeans for Wednesday night study; I guess my mom was a bit of a rebel.  More importantly, we had the rules so we were the ones going to heaven…..hopefully.  Grace and mercy were more like expandable foam insulation that God would shoot in our lives to fill in the gaps when we didn’t follow the rules properly.  About three years ago, I started a journey towards relationship with God.  Yes, relationship.  That thing that only the radical left had.  That thing that those who didn’t know the rules, or worse, those who were unwilling to follow the rules had.  WOW!!  I didn’t know I could be emotionally moved during a worship service!  My “right” world was dangerously close to moving to the left.  The dreaded word….L-I-B-E-R-A-L was sneaking into my life.   I loved it, but I needed a balance.  After all, some of the rules were not made up by men, but rather God,  therefore, they must be important.  How do I explain grace AND rules to people; to my kids?

The answer is love.  A.W. Tozer writes:  ”One man says, ‘You are purified by faith,’ and another man says, ‘You are purified by obeying,’ they are not contradicting, but simply giving you both wings of the bird.  Faith has to have works or it flaps in a circle.  And works have to have faith or the works are dead.  So by works and faith we go along.”  He gives the example of Noah.  If Noah would have just believed, he would have drowned.  It took work to build the ark.  Tozer wonders if a neighbor came along and asked Noah if he hoped to be saved by building an ark.  Noah’s response might have been “I’m obeying my faith by doing what I’m told” and therefore he built an ark.  I think that too many times we try and push away our rigid right and try to be liberal.   We wonder how far we can go and still be OK.  Again to quote Tozer, he says that too many times we ask “What is wickedness?” or “What is virtue?” instead of turning from all wickedness.  Later he says, “Christianity in our day does not see this as clearly as they could.  We try to dovetail in and gear in and blend in, and the sharp outlines are gone, and nothing but a cowardly blending remains.”  And finally, “Therefore, it is never right to take the attitude that many do,’Well, I have my Bible, I know what to do, here it is, it’s found in verse 9.  I know what to do, I have the answer.  That is the attitude of unspiritual Orthodoxy – always sure of the answer, it knows because it can quote the text.  Remember, the text is only the broad precept.  The application of it takes the living presence of the Holy Ghost.”  I’m finding the balance, I am loving being in love with God.  I hope that what I do is showing Him that.